Prisoner's Dilemma
by Chibi Renamon
Summary: A game of Truth Or Dare goes horribly wrong when Viper and Tigress discover that they are after the same guy. But sometimes, things have to get worse before they get better. Eventual Viper x Crane x Tigress
1. Race for love

**Prisoner's Dilemma**

**Chapter 1: Race for love**

"I've got a question," Tigress sang quietly and tried not to giggle. "From me to you and no-one else!"

It was "Girls' night" - even though neither of the girls would ever call it that. Tigress wasn't sure what Viper called it, but she simply called it "Viper and I hang out, play silly games all night and forget about Kung Fu for a while".

And it was one of those silly games they were playing right now - a high-stakes version of "Truth or Dare". The twist was that nobody else in the Jade Palace was allowed to know about this game. Ever. This rule contributed to the fact that Dares were rare, crazy, and usually followed by horrible retaliation. Tigress twitched when she remembered how she had had to plead temporary insanity during her last Dare. _And all just because Master Shifu woke up before I was done dyeing his tail pink..._

"A question, eh?" Viper asked and smirked.

"The night's still young," Tigress pointed out. "So, my question..." She steepled her fingers. "What was the most depraved thing you ever did? Aside from the Dares of this game, of course."

Viper chuckled quietly. "Oh, Tigy..."

"Don't call me that!" Tigress instantly protested. "Those were childhood nicknames! I haven't called you 'Vipy' in years, either!"

"Oh, but you have!" Viper gave her a silly grin. "I should know - after all, I once spent an entire night just watching you in your sleep."

Tigress paled under her fur. "You what?"

"You talk in your sleep," Viper continued, ignoring the feline's expression. "Oh, Vipy," she then imitated Tigress's voice, "where's my ball? It's gone and-"

"Okay, okay, stop it!" Tigress hissed and shuddered. _Okay, that_ was _depraved!_

"I apologize," Viper finally whispered. "I felt bad about it for a full week, too."

"Oh, really?" Tigress crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"It's true! I let you win all of our sparring matches in that time!"

"You never let me win!" Tigress snapped, but a smirk was already playing over her features again. "I earned my victories! All of them!"

"Uhuh, sure," Viper simply replied and grinned. When Tigress didn't push the issue further, the snake broke out into the game's song again: "Ohhhhh Tigy... I've got a question! From me to you and no-one else!"

_Oh boy,_ Tigress thought and rolled her eyes. _She's going to ask about_ my _most depraved act! But I can live with that. After all, it wasn't my fault that Master Shifu didn't lock the door of the bath house the night he practiced those silly musical numbers!_

"And my question is..." She gave Tigress a silly look. "What was the girliest thing you ever did?"

"I once blackmailed Master Shifu into-" Tigress froze, then blinked. "I mean... could you repeat the question, please?"

Viper gave her a _very_ amused look, but then simply smirked. "The girliest thing you ever did, Miss 'I can crush rocks with my face'!"

"Oof." The feline fighter frowned. She almost never did _girly_ things out of principle. In fact, if the biological evidence wasn't so overwhelming, she wouldn't even consider herself to be a girl most of the time. There just wasn't anything girly about her. Except... _No!_ Tigress blushed lightly under her fur and stuffed the thought into a remote corner of her mind again.

"If you need more than a minute to reply, I'll get a free question, you know?" Viper nodded sagely. "It's a rule!"

"What?" Tigress blinked, and her tail twitched. "No, it's not!"

"It is now!" Viper was enjoying this far too much in Tigress's opinion. "Ten... nine..."

"Poetry!"

Viper blinked, but then smirked. "Poetry's not girly. Master Oogway wrote poems. And Crane also dishes out the occasional work - and they look awesome thanks to his calligraphy prac-"

"Love poetry," Tigress hissed under her breath and avoided the snake's eyes.

"Oh, _really_?" Viper whispered and grinned. "Who's the lucky guy?"

Tigress huffed. "Not part of the question!"

"Oh c'mon! I'll give let you a Dare next round, and I won't retaliate!"

A quiet sigh. "They're for... Crane."

Viper's grin vanished. "...what?"

"Crane, you know? Tall guy, large wings, long beak?" Tigress chuckled lamely. "I know, I know," she continued when Viper didn't laugh with her, "it's silly, and it'll lead nowhere, I guess."

"Damn right it's silly," the snake finally hissed.

"Oh come on, what's with-"

"DON'T," Viper snapped, making Tigress jump, "even _think_ that it'll lead anywhere."

Tigress slowly got to her feet. Something was very wrong, but she wasn't quite certain what. "What's wrong with you? You're acting as if-" She froze. "Don't tell me you're _jealous_!"

Viper slowly rose until she was balancing on the tip of her tail. "Let me say this slowly and with small words so that even someone as oblivious as you understands it," she hissed quietly, her eyes turning into narrow slits. "Crane. Is. Mine."

The cat slowly clenched and unclenched her fists. Even without her slightly competitive streak, she wouldn't have accepted Viper's claim. _Crane? Hers? Is she insane?_ She almost laughed. Almost. _And she calls my dream silly?_ she asked herself, ignoring the fact that she had done so first. _I wrote poems! Meaningful ones! Did she? Hm? Well, maybe she did, but I bet they sucked._ "Really? So you and Crane are together?"

"Well..." Viper backed down a little bit. "Technically not. Yet. But once I tell him how I feel, _you_ will be out of the picture!"

_The nerve! And here I thought we were friends!_ Tigress gave the snake a thin-lipped smile as a plan was starting to form in her head. "You think so?" she asked quietly. "Well, your plan has a flaw."

"Flaw?" Viper's tongue flicked out, testing the air nervously.

Tigress's hand connected with the snake's jaw before the latter could even think of dodging. By the time Viper hit the ground, Tigress was already halfway out of the room. "You assume you'll get to talk to Crane first!"

Somewhere behind her, Viper cursed loudly. Tigress just rolled her eyes. The jab hadn't been strong enough to kill or knock out Viper, but she had still hoped for a bigger head start. _Where_ is _Crane right now, anyway?_ the running feline suddenly asked herself. _And what am I going to tell him?_ She groaned. _This is_ not _how I wanted things to go! Stupid Viper! What is she thinking, anyway? Crane and her? Come on!_ "Crane?" she yelled as she ran through one of the corridors of the living quarters. "Crane, where- AGH!" Tigress hit the floor after something had made her trip badly. Before she could even get out a curse of her own, Viper had already let go of her feet and leapt past her.

The two Kung Fu Masters chased each other through the house and eventually down the stairs. The final attack - a throw that made Viper crash down the last dozen steps - led them onto the courtyard.

"Ah, there you are." Master Shifu calmly turned around to face the two fighters.

_Oh, crap._ Tigress automatically bowed to greet her Master even as she compiled a list of all the rules she and Viper had just broken.

"Normally, I'd just _love_ to hear your excuses for almost killing each other, but time is not on our side, so I'll get straight to business." He pointed his staff at Crane, who was standing close to the stairs leading down to the village. Next to the bird were two small bags. "We received an urgent call for help from villagers of the Mist Valley. It appears that bandits are planning a raid in the very near future, and I'm sending _you_ and Crane to take care of this." He was now pointing at Tigress, whose heart skipped a few beats.

"You're sending me and Crane... alone?" she asked, trying not to grin. Next to her, Viper gasped.

"Master Shifu!" the snake cried. "You can't! I mean... why her? Or maybe I could join-"

"Viper, this is not the time for needless negotiations!" Master Shifu barked angrily. "Crane and Tigress are the fastest people I can send, and they should be more than enough to handle those bandits." He faced Tigress again. "We packed a few things into a bag for you. You have to leave immediately. No time to wait till the morning."

Tigress bowed deeply and shot a winning smirk at Viper. "With pleasure, Master."

"Don't you dare," the snake hissed, giving Tigress a glare of death.

The feline grinned smugly. "Don't worry, _Vipy_. I won't do anything you wouldn't do." And with that, she started to jog towards the waiting bird.

"Ready to go?" Crane asked calmly and picked up his bag.

"Ready for anything." She gave him a warm smile. "Let's go."

"TIGRESS!" they heard Viper yelling after just a few steps. The cat stopped and turned around. "I HATE YOU, YOU HEAR? HOW COULD I EVER TRUST A TREACHEROUS FELINE LIKE YOU?"

"Wow, I've never seen her this angry before," Crane whispered and frowned deeply. "What happened?"

"Nothing." Tigress tried to ignore the growing feeling of despair and shook her head. _Is this the price I have to pay for happiness?_ "Let's just go. We got a job to do."

* * *

  
**Author's Notes:**  
Hey, what do you know - I'm alive! Sorry for the major update delay. I'll try to make up for it.  
And before the question pops up: I'll also continue the other series, of course.  
About this fic... well, Icemeerkat (on the forum, back in July or so) issued a challenge for a ViperxCranexTigress fic. And I really couldn't resist, so... here we are! I hope you will enjoy the ride, even if the pairing makes you go "Bwuh?"  
Oh, and the title shouldn't be taken _too_ literally: We won't see any prisons here (unless my characters _completely_ run away with this fic). Instead, maybe check Wikipedia for a little bit of Game Theory insight...  



	2. Love thy enemy

**Prisoner's Dilemma**

**Chapter 2: Love thy enemy**

"Damn her!" Another drawer landed in the middle of the room. "Damn her straight to Hell!"

Viper hissed angrily as she looked over the junkyard that had once been Tigress' neat and tidy room. "What was she thinking, anyway?" Her tail batted a few clothes away. "She doesn't deserve someone like Crane!"

"I think she doesn't deserve a trashed room, either."

She whirled around. "Po?!"

"Uh, hey!" the panda greeted her in feigned surprise. "I just happened to come by... I mean... I was just in the neighborhood... and..."

The snake sighed. "You drew the short straw?"

"Monkey and Mantis each offered to do my chores for a week in exchange for me checking up on you." He sat down next to her and shrugged. "So. What's going on?"

"Nothing," Viper muttered, idly spreading Tigress' belongings across the floor. "Just a deceitful cat getting what she deserves." She paused- "Or rather, it'll have to do until I get around to strangling her in front of her _lover_."

"Lover?!" Po laughed. "Tigress? A lover? You're kidding, right?" He finally noticed her glare and stopped laughing. "You're not kidding."

"Good, you finally understand," she stated and emptied the last drawer.

"Yeah, well... no. I didn't quite get the part where Tigress having a lover leads to you trashing her room."

"Isn't it obvious?" Viper gave him a look as if he had asked the dumbest question on the planet. Which he sort of had, in her eyes. "It's Crane!"

"Crane?" Po frowned deeply. "Tigress and... Crane? How's that supposed to work?"

"Seeeeee? It doesn't work! It's just not right!"

"I mean," Po continued, gesturing vaguely, "how would they even, you know... 'have a good time'?"

"Exactly!" Viper cried. "They don't belong together! It's not natural! Besides, Crane belongs to me."

"Yeah!" Po agreed, then blinked. "No, wait, what?"

The snake froze, then cursed herself. _Stupid, Viper! Stupid! You just _had _to slip that one in! And right after ranting about how Tigress being with Crane wouldn't be natural! As if Crane being with _me _would be natural in any way..._

There was an awkward silence, and Po coughed quietly. Then he picked up a drawer and started to shovel Tigress' belongings into it.

It took Viper a lot of willpower not to cringe. Tigress had always prided herself on her sense of order, and Viper didn't even want to think of the fit the feline would throw when she saw her drawers like this. _Then again, she'd probably be less pissed about that than about me trashing her room in the first place..._ She looked down, her feeling of revenge suddenly replaced by guilt. _What was I thinking? Did I even think at all? Tigress deserves some happiness, doesn't she? I mean... thinking about it, it's not really her fault for falling in love with a great guy like Crane._

"Viper?" Po asked when the snake curled up on the floor. "You okay?"

"Meh." She looked up at him. "I screwed up. Badly."

"Aw, c'mon. It's not that bad." He pointed at the drawers. "We can get this fixed before she comes back. You just have to tell me what goes where and-"

"It's not just that, Po." She grimaced.

"Yeah, I know," he muttered. "The others told me you yelled at her before she left?"

"More than that, even. We argued, we fought, we behaved like total idiots, chasing each other in order to be the first to tell Crane of our feelings..."

"And now..." Po avoided her eyes.

"And now she's alone with Crane, yes." Her tail twitched lightly. "She's going to tell him she loves him, and... and... and he'll fall for her, and then they'll laugh about silly Viper's girly crush and-"

Po's hand quickly closed itself around her muzzle. "Hey, calm down, you're babbling."

"Mhhh!" She struggled, but his grip was too strong.

Po simply waited. "Better?" he asked when she had stopped.

"Mh." Her pouting apparently satisfied Po, and he let go again. "Okay, maybe I went a bit over the top there," she conceded, "but let's face the facts. Why would Crane choose me over her? I mean, even if he knew of my feelings, there wouldn't be any competition!"

Po gestured vaguely. "I don't know..."

"Pffft, be serious. We're talking about Tigress here. She's... she's fast, strong, bold and cunning! And clever! Great sense of humor, too!"

"Humor?" Po laughed at that. "Tigress has a sense of humor?"

"It's... subtle," Viper admitted. "But really, Tigress is great. Wild and furious, but also gentle and caring. Beautiful, enchanting and mysterious. She steps into a room and immediately becomes the center of attention. You never quite know what-... What are you laughing about now?"

"Nothing, nothing," Po managed to reply between his giggles.

Viper blinked irritably. "I may not have hands, but I could still strangle you."

"Okay, fine!" Po held up his hands, but he was still looking deeply amused.

"So what's so funny?" she finally asked, smiling for the first time since Tigress' confession. If anything, Po's smile was contagious.

"The way you praise her, I just had to remind myself that it's Crane you're in love with."

"That it's Crane I'm in-" Viper started to echo, then blushed. "Oh! You mean... Tigress? Me and Tigress? Love?" She laughed nervously. "You're crazy!"

"Why so?" he asked, his smile widening.

"She's a girl, and so am I!" she cried, bouncing slightly. She felt the urge to move, but didn't know where to. Part of her wanted to get away. She had been raised with a clear understanding of right and wrong, and even the implied hint of some sort of romance with Tigress was about as wrong as it could get. But her more emotional side was beginning to doubt her upbringing, and Viper wasn't sure what to think of that.

Po just shrugged. "I know, I know... but..."

"...but...?"

"But... you know... there are a few girls in the village. And they are... with other girls." He saw her eyes widening and quickly shook his head. "Nothing official, of course! But... you noticed. The way they'd hold hands, the looks they'd give each other..."

Viper blinked and then looked down at the floor. "Wow," she muttered and shook her head in disbelief. _Girls... in love with other girls..._ Her mind was quickly developing ideas and images, making her blush even more. "And you think that Tigress and I...?"

"You tell me," he just replied. "I'm not trying to control your love life, but I got the feeling that you don't really hate Tigress... to say the least."

For a long time, Viper simply stared at the floor, lost in thought. "I'm... I'm confused," she finally whispered. "I mean... I never considered it before! The idea is tempting, but-" She froze. "NO! ARGH! WHY?"

Po jumped, caught off-guard by the sudden shift in her mood. "Now what?"

"I'm an idiot! A double idiot, even!"

"What're you-"

"She hates me now!" Viper cried. "I sent Tigress straight into Crane's wings! I'm - possibly - in love with two people, and I just lost both of them!"

Po frowned deeply and avoided her eyes. "That... I mean... maybe..."

"Maybe what?" Viper asked and shook her head. "It's over, Po."

"Nothing's written in stone yet. You don't know how things are going there. Who knows-"

"That's it!" Viper suddenly cheered, bouncing wildly and once again making him jump. "You're a genius!"

"I am?" he asked, giving her a doubting look. "Why do I suddenly have a bad feeling about this?"

"I know where they're heading, and I know how far they'll get before they have to rest." She beamed. "I'll simply catch up with them, we can work something out, and then they can take care of those bandits! Maybe they'll even let me help! It'd be like a date, right?"

"You..." Po paused and rubbed his temples. "You _totally_ lost it now, didn't you?"

She laughed weakly. "Desperate times, Po. Desperate times." Then she frowned. "You won't try to stop me, will you?"

"That depends. Will you beat me up if I do?" Instead of replying, Viper just gave him an apologetic smile, making him groan. "Just go..."

"I'll make up for it, I promise!" she shouted when she was almost out of the door.

"Hey, Viper!" Po called after her, and she turned around. "Good luck."

The snake beamed. "Thanks, Po." And with that, she was on her way.


End file.
